nonionay | Last one for real.

Am home and happy.

As awful as it can be, I do get a masochistic joy out of being sick occasionally. It's an adventure, it gives me a chance to let people wait on me, and it makes me appreciate little things. In this case, reclining without pain. When I've fainted, I feel an overwhelming pleasure at lying on the floor. This is, undoubtedly, my body telling me to stay where blood can get to my head. But psychologically, it is the joy of total surrender of all control and responsibility, even the responsibility to maintain consciousness. This, of course, is dangerous. On my walk home, there were moments when I started to feel very slightly light-headed. I would have given anything to drop my bags and lie on the sidewalk, never to move again. Fortunately, I had a bottle of juice I sipped which returned my strength, and I had the willpower to slowly, patiently trudge home.

Guess what popped in the bouncy, bouncy airporter shuttle even before we'd gotten on the Interstate?

Oh, Yeah.

Of course, it's still there, about half the size, and I'm still going to the doctor tomorrow. But maybe I'll be able to sleep tonight, and I'll get to enjoy that bizarre, spicy smell.