(no subject)
Nov. 23rd, 2007 08:56 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nonionayLast night ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
kaerfel and I were sticking a turkey breast in the oven while her husband and my roommate played Guitar Hero in the living room. We mused on what a milestone this was. Forget getting married, graduating from college. For the first time, we were having our own, traditional Thanksgiving. We are Grown Ups.
(Chelsea joked about how me and Keffy are her and her husband's "couple friends" even though we're not actually a couple. This led to jokes about Common Law Gay Marriage-- live with a person of the same sex long enough, and you will automatically become Gay Married!)
Internal spiritual angst follows the cut, but my real life friends should at least read the last line.
I'm in a weird mood right now, and it feels selfish talking about what I'm thankful for. I suppose I'm in a place where I have so much to be thankful for, I can focus on the things I'm not. I woke up this morning with the urge to launch myself into a higher spiritual mindstate to reinforce my self-confidence. I've been feeling cold and hard and selfish-- a state I've seen coming for a while. I figured I could deal with it when it arrived, and so I will. In this case, I think all it will take is a trip to a friends house to cry on a sympathetic shoulder, and I'll be freed of my self-pity. Self self self. Me me me. That's where I am right now and I hate it.
Last night I dreamed about my favorite character in my writing. He and another character form my Big Fat Mary Sues. He's dark and broody and full of power he's wise enough never to use, and he also nurses a deep wound (metaphoric!) inflicted by one he loved. As a result, he seals himself over so that he's never hurt again, but simultaneously, he keeps the wound open so he never forgets. It overwhelms and consumes everything else that gave his life meaning, and becomes the only thing that keeps him going. I don't think I'm that bad, but I do have my indulgently nursed wounds.
In one part of the dream I remember, he needed more blood (he's a vampire, like ten zillion percent of my characters) and though I offered mine, it wouldn't help him for long, because I was a vampire too. I guess the lesson is, one sucking ego can't feed another.
At the moment, I'm feeling better, but I'm still going to seek out a friend to cry/maybe just bitch to.
If that doesn't work, I'm sending out an early warning to my friends that I may start acting violently irrational in days to come. I apologize in advance if anyone gets hurt.
kaerfel and I were sticking a turkey breast in the oven while her husband and my roommate played Guitar Hero in the living room. We mused on what a milestone this was. Forget getting married, graduating from college. For the first time, we were having our own, traditional Thanksgiving. We are Grown Ups.(Chelsea joked about how me and Keffy are her and her husband's "couple friends" even though we're not actually a couple. This led to jokes about Common Law Gay Marriage-- live with a person of the same sex long enough, and you will automatically become Gay Married!)
Internal spiritual angst follows the cut, but my real life friends should at least read the last line.
I'm in a weird mood right now, and it feels selfish talking about what I'm thankful for. I suppose I'm in a place where I have so much to be thankful for, I can focus on the things I'm not. I woke up this morning with the urge to launch myself into a higher spiritual mindstate to reinforce my self-confidence. I've been feeling cold and hard and selfish-- a state I've seen coming for a while. I figured I could deal with it when it arrived, and so I will. In this case, I think all it will take is a trip to a friends house to cry on a sympathetic shoulder, and I'll be freed of my self-pity. Self self self. Me me me. That's where I am right now and I hate it.
Last night I dreamed about my favorite character in my writing. He and another character form my Big Fat Mary Sues. He's dark and broody and full of power he's wise enough never to use, and he also nurses a deep wound (metaphoric!) inflicted by one he loved. As a result, he seals himself over so that he's never hurt again, but simultaneously, he keeps the wound open so he never forgets. It overwhelms and consumes everything else that gave his life meaning, and becomes the only thing that keeps him going. I don't think I'm that bad, but I do have my indulgently nursed wounds.
In one part of the dream I remember, he needed more blood (he's a vampire, like ten zillion percent of my characters) and though I offered mine, it wouldn't help him for long, because I was a vampire too. I guess the lesson is, one sucking ego can't feed another.
At the moment, I'm feeling better, but I'm still going to seek out a friend to cry/maybe just bitch to.
If that doesn't work, I'm sending out an early warning to my friends that I may start acting violently irrational in days to come. I apologize in advance if anyone gets hurt.
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no subject
Date: 2007-11-23 05:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-11-25 05:14 pm (UTC)And here I thought you were on vacation.
/nods at your post/
no subject
Date: 2007-11-25 10:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-11-25 11:00 pm (UTC)