Weight of the Decade

[nonionay]

I've just started another month-long round of dieting. I think I've successfully ended the decade at the same weight I started it--about 170. In high school, I was 150, and college totally gave me the Freshman Fifteen. By my second year, I'd wandered up to 170, and there I stayed, at least in my head. It wasn't like I owned a scale, so when I drifted all the way up to 195, I was in denial. The revelation of my fatness coincided with my breakup/seizing control of my life. Exercise, and later, these rounds of calorie control have been a good source of discipline and self awareness. When I'm not dieting, I understand my metabolism and know how much I can eat to maintain my weight. By February, I'd like to be, minimum, 165. (I got close back when I was suffering from some kind of Victorian Wasting Disease, but the need to eat to heal eliminated those gains.)
I am happy at 170. I feel pretty and healthy, but I know that as time goes on, I'm going to gain more weight and eventually lack the energy to lose it, so I'd like to have as small a starting point as possible. Besides, it's like a Couples' Retreat for my brain and body, giving them a chance to fight and get closer together.

Comments

[renatus.livejournal.com]

I have to admit, I'm confused. It sounds like you think you should be as thin as, or near to, you were as a teen--even though teens are going through all sorts of growing that eats up body resources like crazy. It makes sense weight goes up as a person's growth spurts level off as they stop using up their reserves and keep them for things other than growing (that freshman fifteen just so happens to coincide with the age most people's body frame growth slows dramatically). It's normal and natural for this to happen throughout one's life, as aging-related illnesses often tap into those reserves heavily.

I'm extra puzzled that you feel the need to diet as, as far as I could see, you're quite far from anything I could call 'fat' and keep a straight face. You have the body of a woman who's reached full maturity and a medium-but-lanky build for your height.

What I'm getting at is--do you actually feel unhealthy when you decide you need to diet, or are you thinking you don't feel as good as it's mandated you should unless you try to get to that weight? IME it's easy to confuse the two, especially because there's this strong societal pressure to be beanpole-thin no matter one's build or genetic predispositions.

Regular body movement is great, but unless you're regularly gorging yourself sick I seriously doubt calorie restriction is actually helping how you feel.

[criada.livejournal.com]

Don't worry, I've got a healthy body image (trust me, nobody feels sexier than I do right now.) I just know that I can be twenty pounds healthier, it's a goal I'm capable of, so why not? I know that over time, my weight does shift upwards slowly and surely, so I may as well do this every now and then to maintain a healthy weight. (My short term goal in these sessions is to lose five pounds. I'm highly self-aware. I'm not starving myself. I don't have an eating disorder.)

[shadesofmauve]

"trust me, nobody feels sexier than I do right now" is an awesomely positive thing to read. :)