Nobody, darnit

Home from World Fantasy. I had a pleasant trip home. Not only did our plane not crash, it got in early! On the plane, after I shot a bunch of pictures of random things like the light flowing through my water bottle, kehrli proved yet again how awesome he is by grabbing my camera and taking pictures of other interesting textures, as well as the stunning sunset out the window.

Lots of really fun things happened at the con, not least of which was NK Jemison's pajama party in honor of her latest book, The Kingdom of Gods, where I played Uno and Twister and learned it's really hard to drink booze out of a sippy cup. Easily the best party I've ever been to.
Most book launches, if they have a theme, have one that relates to the book. I jokingly asked Nora if there was a slumber party in the book, and since the book is from the perspective of the god of childhood, there indeed is!

Now, pooped and going to bed.

The trip home was as uneventful as the trip down, with only a little bit of added crankiness. (Examples of symmetry: we left Seattle at 1am, and got back to Seattle at 1am. Eugene was where we encountered the sunrise going, and the sunset returning. We passed a horrific car wreck on the way down, we passed a horrific car wreck on the way back.) One of the odder moments involved staring at a huge display of Pabst Blue Ribbon and pink marabou costumes at the Reno Whole Foods, before realizing it was intended for Burning Man. There were also pleasant moments of lounging in the sun while Spencer played his guitar, and the curious discovery of bumblebees licking a big chunk of scoria (lava rock).

I decided to wear the Sparkle Zebra dress on the drive home, because dammit, it's comfy and I felt like it. This resulted in some interesting gazes from men at gas stations who probably thought I was a prostitute. (Side note to mother: For once, you were probably right. That said, as long as they don't try to hurt me, I don't care.)

Once I got home, I actually had difficulty falling asleep, what with being all stretched out in a comfy bed and total silence. It was almost like I was still curled up in the back seat, neck cramping, listening to cars and music and the conversation between spencimusprime and plunderpuss, and was only dreaming of my real bed.

As a final Renovation note, here's a clip from the Hugos, showing Chris Garcia's epic acceptance speech. I hear that this guy has been nominated ten times now, and knowing that makes his joy all the more special.

Pooped out on partying last night. :-(
I got all dolled up in my sparkly zebra dress, even though I knew I'd be overdressed, just because I needed an excuse to wear it. But clearly the lack of sleep is catching up to me. In addition to the paucity of sleep on the all-night drive here, I only slept 5 or 6 hours my first night here. I got in a respectable amount of socializing (though I skipped the overcrowded Tor Party), and probably wouldn't be annoyed at my pooping out if not for the fact that all my other friends came back to the room full of fun stories. But meh. I slept nine hours last night in a really comfy bed. Today I'll force myself to take an afternoon nap, and keep myself extra-hydrated.

I made it to Reno!
I was prepared for the worst on our road trip to Reno. The departure time shifted back and forth, until finally it settled upon 1:30am. Tuesday evening I trekked over to kehrli's place, where I slept for a couple hours on the floor until plunderpuss andspencimusprime arrived from Bellingham with the van.
For the most part, the trip went without a hitch. Spencer and I slept as best we could in the back while Keffy guzzled energy drinks, listened to music, and conversed with San to stay awake. Once dawn hit, he was wide, wide awake and insisted on not sharing driving duties. He never once seemed to tire or get stressed out, so go Keffy! (He also wanted to be able to brag about doing it. Keffy, you have earned bragging rights.)

Google suggested two routes to us, and we chose the route that was less familiar, via Klamath Falls. This took us down windy roads in the mountains, some of which were scenic and spectacular, others of which were scenic if monotonous.
It took us longer than expected (15 hours for me and Keffy, 16.5 for Spencer and San) but was fun. I was mildly brain dead, but not too badly.
I had dinner with friends at the Island Buffet at the Peppermill. The food was amazing, and if you ate enough, really cheap. The restaurant itself is tropical themed, and had occasional "thunderstorms" with rain pouring down behind the fake animatronic trees that waved in a "wind" and "lightning" that flashed.
Then it was on to the tor.com meetup, where I met old friends and made new ones. Despite not having much sleep, I was only slightly brain dead.
And now I'm ensconced in my room at the Atlantis, pondering going for a walk. Getting back and forth between the Atlantis/Convention Center, and the Peppermill Hotel, where many of my friends are, is going to be annoying. There's a shuttle, but it's not terribly regular, and the other option is a mile long walk, which I theoretically don't mind, but only if I don't have to do it all the time. :-S

Norwescon was a good one, despite eternally broken elevators, and a mysterious stomach bug on my part that manifested as a constant, low-grade queasiness and lack of appetite. However, this meant that I avoided caffeine and alcohol the whole time, made sure I got a relatively sufficient amount of sleep, and actually was more alert than 90% of the other attendees, who undoubtedly despised my early morning perk.

In an alternate universe--not necessarily a better one--I would have finished my sword-and-sorcery-meets-urban-fantasy novel that editor Lou Anders inspired, and then pitched it to him when I rode/waited forever for the elevator. But in this universe, I didn't finish it, and in any case, it was early and he was grumbling about breakfast and panels and such with his family.

In other news, my reading went well. There were nine of us, with five minutes to read for each. I made a point to go last, since I had friends who had panels at the same time, but wanted to try to escape in time to hear me, but even though we'd budgeted an hour and a half for the reading, everyone stuck scrupulously to their five minutes, and we ended early. Still, there were many friends in the audience, and complete stranger, who came up afterwards to compliment me. Not to discount myself, but I kind of wonder if they weren't unduly influenced by my fishnet-clad legs. I'm thinking I might need to change my look from long, shiny skirts, to funky tights.

... because I feel like procrastinating. Actually, I'm putting off the second go of line edits because I'm moody and I know that I don't want to start off my writing career with being grumpy about line edits. I've got some time yet.

Mainly, I just wanted to say I'm grateful that I have a north-facing room, that's not too hot. It's actually pretty nice out right now. In a couple minutes, I'm going to lay in the grass in the shade in the backyard and read a book. I've been plowing through several books. It feels so nice! I'm actually reading books that have been lying around for years. I'm actually reading books by people I've known for years but haven't gotten to.

I also wanted to say that Rachel Scholes, the larger but younger twin child of kenscholes calls me Kitty Cat. (Actually, it's more like "kee-kat") It would appear there are three things in the Universe--Mama, Dada and Kee-Kat. I fall under the great umbrella of Kee-Kat.

I encountered this year-old bundle of Kee-Kat when I visited Portland for Jaycon. I visited with friends, suffered through vuvuzelas, and played with sparklers, the latter of which I haven't done since I was a kid. I was extremely disappointed. Whatever happened to the actual sparkly kind that spray white-hot bits of metal everywhere? These were like a very pathetic blow torch.

I'd also like to say that if you haven't yet seen The Hurt Locker, put it off until the next 4th of July. You'll get the real full surround sound experience.

Norwescon was a blast. The only down spots were
A) Forgetting to buy Mark Henry's Battle of the Network Zombies. *
B) Missing folks who couldn't make it. and
C) The Tor Party, at which I kind of freaked out. I was exhausted, and the party was of course, loud, crowded and full of strangers. However, everyone I knew was also there, (yes, there was one notable exception, but I was too exhausted to deal with the emotional weight of being with that friend. See below.) meaning I couldn't go somewhere else to chill and still be social. Next year, I'm going to make sure I have a hotel room, even if I have to beg, bribe and cajole folks to share with me. I really, really needed a nap and possibly private introvert space.

* Totally remedied on the drive home. My mom needed to use the bathroom, so we stopped at the Northgate Barnes and Noble.


Other downside: I was so exhausted when I got home that I passed right out. I was a little surprised, since while I didn't sleep much, it wasn't like I was running on two hours a night or anything. And the two-hour nap did nothing for me. I soon myself overcome with abdominal cramps, and quivering with a cold sweat. I wanted to barf so bad, but I eventually had to accept that it was just gas and curling up in bed was all I could do. It actually made for good mental processing time, since I couldn't do anything else until the pain abated. (When it got to a manageable level, I totally started Mark's book, because if anything is readable through potential food poisoning, it's a trashy zombie novel. I'm better now, and it probably wasn't food poisoning, but if John Pitts ends up with the same thing, it was totally the bread pudding, in the bar, with the unspeakable rich sauce.

Among the superawesome things:

Meeting up with an old, old friend who has a tendency to drop out of my life for years on end, and then pop up without warning. I saw him briefly last year, but the cliquish nature of Norwescon being what it is, I never saw him after that glimpse. This year, however, we got in dinner and a lot of conversation time, and I got to turn him on to a friend's upcoming book. We talked about the past and being young and stupid and if only, if only, if only.

Hanging with an awesome group who included Kat Richardson (and her glorious custom-made corset) and Cherie Priest. Every now and then, I feel like I've already learned everything there is to know about how the publishing business works, and then I learn otherwise. I feel like I earned a merit badge. (Basket accounting. If I understand it right, it's when the publisher requires a series of books to earn out their advance(s) as a unit before earning royalties.)

Early morning writing sessions in the Rotunda overlooking that really big pond behind the hotel. I actually got writing done at a con!

My kickass little hat (known as a folly, I was informed.) Made by zeldyn. (Check out her Etsy shop!) Turns out another of my friends at Norwescon also had one of her hats!

Being led by Camille Alexa through the party wing in a big long chain of half-drunk ducklings in search of alcohol.

I'm feeling very, very grateful. Grateful to friends who hooked us up with beds, grateful to pros for stuffing me with knowledge, grateful for folks like Nayad of Clarkesworld who encourage me to keep submitting despite rejection. Grateful to everyone for being so welcoming. I had a revelation about myself, about why it is that being with my friends doesn't drain me. I view the world and connect with it through my relationships. I tend towards collective identities. (Even though I know that all that is illusory, and that ultimately, I'm only me. I do manage to function as a completely self-sufficient unit, socially and emotionally.) I think that my ego actually absorbs the friends I'm with, basically bringing them under the umbrella of my identity, and keeping them from being energy drains. I bet it sounds like that could be a freaky concept. My ex used to bug me about needing to define people. And it's not like I'm saying, "you are now me, and I have as much control over you as I do myself." It's just that wither certain people, I have an awareness of closeness and our commonalities. We're united by our passions, or events, or common knowledge. Different combinations form different groups within the group. (And of course, certain bonds form barriers that are almost impenetrable. One word: Clarionites. I respect the barriers, especially since goodness knows I have them among my own circles, but having a relationship of a different sort with someone in the impenetrable group allows for temporary permeability. Me and another girl totally bonded at World Fantasy over being Roommates of Clarionites, who drifted along like superfluous, but attached, appendages on the Clarion Amoeba.)

This makes me think that my social energy loss actually comes from two sources. The first is the standard problem of people (particularly extroverted-seeming types) focusing on me, forcing my own shields up. The second is me attempting to batter down the shields I perceive between myself and others.

Okay, enough philosophy. I need to get back to bitchy zombies in love.

I'm at the Rainforest, having a most excellent time. Right now I'm 222 words into the day. Had 2200 words yesterday. I'm not sure what I'm writing next though, so I think I might be bound for a walk.
I definitely have a fascination with writing characters who are two people in one body. I love transitioning smoothly between two voices. This time, I'm writing first person, and both personalities are speaking first person with no scene break. But it should be pretty obvious. And to anyone who reads this and considers exactly how autobiographical it is, I have never ever felt like I wanted to disembowel my whole family, and I've never actually suffered a dissociate personality episode. Just so ya'll know. I did, however, replicate my grandfather's ash scattering yesterday in a highly emotional scene. (Different location and people, same spontaneous huddle and ash beneath my fingernails.)

In other Rainforest news, we went for a drive around the lake yesterday, first having to go way up the river into the mountains. We saw roughly 40-50 elk in about five different groups, all of them right on the side of the road and not at all inclined to flee. They just stared a bunch at these people who eagerly hopped out of the car to stare at them in return.
There's also a Christmas tree out in the middle of nowhere.
Also, a coyote.

And this morning, I discovered a wonderful thing. I wanted a shower, but instead of combing out my gawdawful bedhead and twisting it into a bun, I just twisted up the tangles, and it's actually really nice. It almost makes me want to tease my hair on a regular basis. Almost. Anyway, I'm totally rocking the cute secretary look today.

Okay, back to work.

So my first World Fantasy Convention was awesome, awesome, awesome!
Highlights include:
-a kickass panel on Steampunk (I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that this convention would have the precious combination of intelligent, diversely opinioned panelists and polite audience members with insightful questions)

-Lunch with Sän, Carol Berg (one of Sän's favorite authors) and Ellen Kushner (one of my favorite authors.) Ellen terrified me by threatening to leap out into traffic at every corner (she's a New Yorker, and has now cemented my view of New York as this adrenaline-pulsing nightmare where I'm forced to run after friends as they throw themselves into the path of oncoming cars.) Carol and Ellen fantarded at each other, and it was adorable.

-In a similar vein: watching kenscholes meet Tad Williams. Also adorable.

-Meeting Tad Williams myself while handing him awriter's copy of Tailchaser's Song. He said he appreciated seeing beat up copies of his book, and was highly amused by the "validation" marks caused by Penny the cat. (Many thanks to csinman and technology. Tad Williams wasn't at the mass signing when we were, but later, Sän saw on Twitter that Williams was having an impromptu signing. He texted me, and I hustled off to complete my mission.)

-Scotch and truffles at the Daybreak reading.

-A giant steampunk balloon shaped cake, chocolates and pastries and drinks to die for at the Soulless release party, my first absinthe (I seem to be overcoming my hatred of licorice.)

-Meeting newbies like myself. For a while, I wandered with the Clarion Uber-Blob, which consisted of the unholy melding of members of Clarion 2008 and 2009. At one point, while wandering the party halls looking for someone familiar to latch onto, I ran into a girl who, like myself, is The Roommate of a Clarionite. She was also looking for familiarity, and since we'd met once earlier (with the Clarion Uber-Blob), we glommed together. This was not only her first WFC, it was her first convention ever. We met Greg Bear in an elevator, and I got to tell her my story of meeting Greg Bear in an elevator.
Back in the day, I had saycestcay adopt me and show me around at my first big convention, for which I will be eternally grateful, so I'm happy I was able to do the same for someone else.

-Meeting my old friend Bill for drinks. I haven't seen him since college, ten years ago, and he drove all the way down from the north Bay Area to see me. Way back when, he started a student newspaper that I ended up volunteering for. I can clearly mark that as the first time I truly grabbed a hold of my destiny and started to create my own path.

-Early morning talks with two of my roommates, sitting in our pajamas on the floor beside the bathroom (and coffee pot!) talking about writing, religion and woman stuff. I had some awesome roommates. Thanks, guys.

-And other things that are strange and wonderful and totally not what I was expecting to happen there, but in retrospect, were inevitable. I've scored friends and opportunities, and I've learned that one of my defining characteristics--being calm, quiet and unassuming--which I've often thought a hinderance in networking, has turned out to be my most valuable asset. Thank you to everyone. I hope I don't screw this up.

Inside the elevator.



They had a table full of coloring and activity books at ValhallaCon. This page wanted me to draw the left side of Green Goblin's face. So I finally got my chance to do a Spiderman/Last Temptation mashup.